I feel the need to add the ‘healthy way to punish a cheating boyfriend’ right there in the title, because I understand the rage of some scorned women let loose on Google.
Anyone who’s ever been cheated on knows the pain that betrayal can inflict.
But this is a healthy woman’s guide to getting her own back; no running him over, no burning his clothes, no laxatives in the coffee.
This is about moving past what he did to you, and moving on with your life – whilst teaching him an emotional lesson in the process.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with him for one year or ten, these ten tips will help you move on – whilst punishing him a little of course.
How to punish a cheating boyfriend
1. Call your hottest male friend and tell him you need cheering up. Go out with him, forget the cheating rogue, and let your hair down. Incidentally, wear the hottest dress you can find and make sure that photographs end up on Facebook. Petty, but it works!
2. If he’s trying to contact you on Facebook or Twitter, categorically ignore each and every attempt. But continue to post your usual amount of cheery updates and photos.
3. Book a trip with the guy friend your man was jealous of. Go camping in the countryside, or backpacking in Costa Rica, and have an absolutely amazing time.
4. Step up your workout (or start) at the gym. Exercise releases endorphins, allows you to work your angry energy in a positive way
and you will look and feel great! When he sees photos of your new toned figure, he’ll be gutted he let you go.
5. Sell all the gifts he gave you. Use the money to buy something you’ve always wanted.
6. Invest in a new wardrobe and hair do. Chances are he thinks (or would like to think) that you’re moping around in your pjs, eating ice cream and crying. When you run into him in a killer new outfit, his ego will dissolve.
7. If you can bear to strip your boudoir, I would suggest getting rid of all the bedroom lingerie you associate with him. Go shopping and splurge on a whole new range of saucy silk lingerie that will make you feel like a goddess, and start looking forward to showing it off to a new man.
8. Try to contact the woman he cheated on you with, and ask her if she knew he was involved with someone. If she is a decent woman, she will show empathy and remorse. Who knows, maybe you could meet up one day; imagine his face if he were to walk into a cafe to find the two of you having lunch and laughing about him. Priceless.
These last two are slightly petty, but they are justified and will feel good.
9. Go to a posh private health clinic and get tested for all possible sexually transmitted diseases. Then send him the bill.
10. Redirect his post to his mother’s house. If she phones up to find out what’s going on, don’t get petulant and list all the things he did, but say in a very dignified and composed way, ‘he was unfaithful to me and consequently our relationship is now over’. As a woman, her compassion will be with you, and her darling son will never hear the end of it. Win.
Living well is the best revenge. If you become bitter and scornful, he will feel how important he was to you and that will flatter his ego; if you’re too angry and impulsive, it can make you look like the psycho ex.
Smile, move on with your life, and enjoy every moment you’ve gained back from him. He will soon realise what he’s lost.